Sunday 12 March 2017

Tales from the Finchbottom Vale – (13) Familial Relativity

(Part 01)

Jonathon Masters felt as if his star was in the ascendency, his Web Design Business had finally taken off and he had landed a couple of plum contracts, one of which was a magazine publisher and the other was with the Big Cyril’s betting shop chain. However the news about his business’s new found success was not universally well received, his staff liked it, his bank manager was ecstatic about it but his mother was disgusted by it.
Furthermore his darling supportive mother said she would rather tell people he was in prison than tell them that he worked for pornographers and degenerates.

Jonathon lived alone on the outskirts of Forestdean at the Shallowfield end.
It was once a row of three forester’s cottages which had at some time been knocked into one to make a family sized house.
It was a very “nice” part of the village and certainly not somewhere he could have afforded to buy for himself even with the success of the business.
He was fortunate enough to live in a nice property in the well-heeled end of the village due the sudden if not altogether unsurprising death of his Uncle Jon.
Jon Coulson had no family of his own and had managed to alienate most of his extended family mainly because he was a “good time Charlie”, a hard drinking womanizer with the morals of an alley cat, so he had no one to inherit after his premature death, so as Jonathon was his favourite nephew he left it to him.

Because Jonathon was a single man he had far more space than he needed for himself so he decided to give up his tiny office space in Abbottsford and run his business from Kingfisher Cottage.
It was only him in the office most of the time as the four people who worked for him all worked from home anyway.
They only went to the office once or twice a month so after he closed the office they went to Forestdean instead.

It suited him living alone in a quiet village, he wasn’t really a people person, and he kept his human interactions down to a minimum.
At 30 years of age his mother would have preferred him to have found himself a good woman to settle down with who would make him find a proper job.
But he had tried a proper job and the good woman and neither of them had worked out to his liking.
His only regular interactions with human beings were Rafa and Mirabel, his gardener and his cleaner, who were a middle-aged couple who seemed to work for half the people in the village, his monthly meetings with his staff and the occasional visit to his clients and there were trips to the Post Office and General Store other than that he communicated only with cyber space.

(Part 02)

It was on a Friday, also known as gardening day, when Rafa did the garden that someone threw a rock into the tranquil pond that was his life.
So it was in the morning while he was making a cup of coffee and staring through the window watching the wiry Rafa pick up a planter as if it were made of polystyrene that the phone rang.
“Oh shit,” Jonathon said reading the caller ID.
“Hi mum, it’s really lovely to hear from you,” he said with as much sincerity as he could muster
“Hello Jonathon, you’re not getting any better at that are you dear? Listen I’ll get straight to the point, Auntie Leslie and Uncle Roland have asked if you could put Gemma up for a week, and I said yes on your behalf”
“You did what?” He said shocked
“You remember Gemma, you were inseparable when you were kids” she continued oblivious to his protest.
“Yes I do remember her but why the hell did you do that” He shouted
“Calm down Jonathon, for goodness sake, stop making such a fuss, she is family after all, and how bad can it be?”
She wasn’t family actually, the Auntie and Uncle in front of Leslie and Roland’s names were purely honorary titles, the Hughes family were just extremely close friends of his parents.
“The girl is doing a two week long secondment at O’Sullivan and Springthorpe and it will save her the cost of a Hotel” she continued
“But it’s not convenient” He protested
“It will interfere with my work”
“For goodness sake Jonathon you’re a web site designer, it’s not as if you’re close to curing cancer” she retorted
“You’ll have to call them back and say no,” he said firmly
“I can’t possibly do that; it will make me look foolish” she snapped
“But it’s really going to cramp my style” he said
“You haven’t got any style Jonathon especially since you started working for pornographers and degenerates” his mum retorted
“Now listen Jonathon this will really help to cement family relations, you know how bad things have been between the families, and how strained and difficult it’s been since Uncle John impregnated Roland’s sister Lucy”
“Look apart from the short notice and the inconvenience” He explained, “I don’t really want a stranger in the house”
“Nonsense she’s hardly a stranger you used to get on really well when you were children” his mum said
“But I haven’t seen her for 10 years” he responded, but he knew he was fighting a losing battle
“Gemma will be no trouble at all she was always a nice girl and you’ll hardly see her anyway” his mum said
“But she’s a stranger now” he pointed out
“She’s arriving Saturday,” she said hurriedly
“But” he interrupted
“Must dash, Bye” and she was gone.
“Bollocks” He said and put down the phone.

He spent the rest of the day wondering how he was going to cope with Gemma in his house, he even considered going to stay in a Hotel for the two weeks.
His Mum was right he and Gemma did get on well when they were kids, she was five years younger than him and yes there was a time when they were inseparable.
But what mum didn’t know was that when he was seventeen the 12-year-old Gemma tried to kiss him and that was only the first time, she tried kissing him at every opportunity until when she was 14 he found her half naked in his bed.
He didn’t know quite how her behavior might have escalated after that incident had fate not taken a hand.
And he was mightily relieved when Uncle Jon got Roland’s sister Lucy pregnant and the Masters and the Hughes stopped spending holidays together.
Now thanks to his interfering mother she was going to be staying under his roof for two weeks which was going to be quite embarrassing for both of them.

(Part 03)

Saturday came and Uncle Roland and Aunty Leslie arrived to drop Gemma off, and it was a reunion totally lacking even an ounce of warmth, he offered them both a drink but they declined, and he was not disappointed when they did, as it meant they didn’t intend to stay long and he was right because five minutes later they kissed their daughter goodbye before perfunctorily thanking Jonathon for helping out and all at once they were gone leaving Gemma and him quite alone apart that is for the rather large elephant in the room.
As he suspected there was a palpable awkwardness between them and he got the distinct impression that she wasn’t any happier being his houseguest than he was to be her host.
Gemma was still as pretty as she was when he last saw her but she had lost the puppy fat of her teenage years and she was taller now about 5ft 6 with shoulder length blond hair.
He found himself thinking that it was a shame that she’d gone all “Bunny Boiler” on him as a teen.
But he wasn’t a shallow person he didn’t reject her advances because she was a little overweight, he always thought she was very cute, it was never about her physical form.
It was just that they were so very close and although there was no blood tie between them he always saw Gemma as more like a sister than a partner.
“Its very kind of you to do this” she said “Thank you”
“No problem” He lied
Then followed the first of the embarrassed silences as they stood together in the kitchen without the first idea what to talk about.
“Look I’ll give you a quick tour, show you where everything is, settle you in your room and then I’m afraid I need to get some work done, I have a deadline fast approaching” He lied again.
“Sure, I have some studying I need to do before Monday,” she said unconvincingly and then there was another embarrassed silence.
“Spare key” He said pointing to the table “just come and go as you please”
“Thanks Jonathon” she said
“You have the run of the house except my…” He began careful not to say bedroom “Office, that’s a definite no go”
She nodded her understanding and so he gave her the tour and carried her bag to her room.
“And this is your room, bathroom is next door, and I’m sorry but I really have to get on now” and he quickly turned and walked away.
“Thanks again” she called after him, and he was sure he heard her let out a sigh of relief.
Gemma was just as relieved as he was that the awkwardness was over and was equally happy that they would be seeing as little as possible of each other.

Gemma had exclusive use of the bathroom next to her room as Jonathon had an en suite so they managed very well to avoid one another, the occasional meeting on the stairs, a coincidental clash in the kitchen, contact minimal, conversation likewise, embarrassed silences kept to a bare minimum.
That was until Wednesday when they both happened to be going out the front door at the same time and although they both desperately wanted to; neither of them could, either think of an excuse to go back or didn’t have the time to, so they ended up walking into the village together.
The conversation was forced and painful and was littered with their stock in trade, the embarrassed silence, and they both sighed when they reached the parting of the ways, him towards the post office and her towards the railway station.

(Part 04)

Although Jonathon was very content with his life and could fulfill the majority of his needs via the internet, there was one thing that could only be experienced in the flesh, ok there were two things but the primary one for Jonathon was the cinema.
There was nothing in cyberspace that could substitute for the pleasure of sitting in the darkened cinema to watch a movie on the big screen.
It was his only real concession to his way of life and while he was at the Post Office he bought a Shallowfield and Childean Chronicle which had amongst many other interesting things, the cinema listings.
He paid for his purchases and stood outside the shop and turned to the entertainment section of the paper, and smiled to himself when he read that the new Jurassic Park movie was showing at The Oasis Multiplex in Childean.

Later that evening he had a shower and shave and was preparing to spend the evening at the cinema to watch the latest Jurassic Park and indulge his guilty passion, when he remembered he had left his after shave in the main bathroom, he had been using the en suite since Gemma arrived for obvious reasons, but some of his things were still in there.
So he walked across the landing wearing a towel and without hesitating entered the main bathroom, walked to the sink, found his aftershave amongst all the feminine potions and powders that had appeared on the shelf and was just turning to leave as Gemma stepped naked from the shower, with water dripping from her treasures and running down her beautiful firm young body.
On reflection he knew he’d stood staring at her for longer than he should have but he struggled to draw his eyes away.
But when he realized he said,
“I’m so sorry, I didn’t think”
At which point she grabbed the towel and covered herself and he headed hurriedly out the door repeating
“Sorry, sorry, I’m so sorry” Until he reached the sanctuary of his bedroom.
He took his towel off and began dressing and all the while he was muttering to himself.
“Oh fantastic, that’s just what I need, as if having her in the house hasn’t been awkward enough, I have to see her naked”
He pulled his trousers up and added
“I don’t know what you were thinking just wandering in there, and did you have to stand and stare for quite so long?”
He sat down on the bed and began to pull his sock on.
“She was like your bloody sister” He said and then attended to his other sock
“And there you stood for God knows how long with your eyes sticking out like chapel hat pegs staring at her treasures”
He continued muttering to himself as he slipped his shoes on and as he opened the bedroom door he saw Gemma emerge from the bathroom all dry, perfumed and powdered and wearing a dressing gown.
“I’m…” he started to say but he felt himself flush and he was unable to finish the sentence and hurried down the stairs and straight out the front door more than half an hour earlier than he needed to, so he sat in the car and muttered to himself some more.

(Part 05)

When he arrived at the Oasis Centre in Childean he was still quite early so he parked in the multistory and decided to go and have a drink in the theatre bar but went to the box office first as it was on his way, and he was grateful that he had because there were only a handful of tickets left for that performance so he chose the only aisle seat left.

Despite getting to Childean 45 minutes early he almost missed the start of the film.
He had been sitting in the bar nursing a pint and trying, and failing, to get the naked images of Gemma out of his head and just when he thought they were gone they appeared again in full technicolor.
Quite apt really technicolored images at a multiplex though the irony was lost on him.
He ended up having to run to the cinema and the auditorium was in darkness when he went in and an usher showed him to his seat which he did with about 10 seconds to spare.

The film was every bit as good as he had hoped it would be and was enjoying it immensely to the point that it completely purged his mind of the naked images that had plagued him earlier.
He was so completely engrossed in the film everything else was excluded so when the creature struck even though he knew it was coming, he couldn’t help himself and he almost jumped out of his seat as did the person next to him.
His heart was in his mouth and he laughed when he got his breath back and when he turned to look at his neighbor he realized he was sitting next to Gemma.
Which gave him an almost bigger surprise than the film did but he relaxed when he realized firstly that he wasn’t hallucinating and secondly that she wasn’t naked.
“Oh Hello” she whispered
“Hi” he replied “I didn’t know you were coming”
“Well I wasn’t dressed for the cinema the last time you saw me”
She said and smiled
He returned her smile and then they returned their attention to the film.

There was no further conversation between them as they enjoyed the rest of the film but when the credits rolled and houselights came up and patrons began to head for the exits Gemma asked
“Did you enjoy it?”
“I did” he replied “It certainly lived up to my expectations, what about you?”
“It was better for me” she replied “I was a bit of a cynic”
“Really?”
“Yes I thought it was just going to cash in on the franchise, but I was wrong” Gemma explained
There was a short embarrassed silence as they slowly filed out through the exit until, against his better judgement, he said
“Can I offer you a lift?”
“No, I don’t want to impose” she replied
“You’re already imposing by staying in my house” he said to himself, but he kind of felt obliged to offer her a lift home.
“Nonsense” he said “It’s not like I’m going out of my way”
“Well you don’t have to” she said “but thanks”

(Part 06)

On the journey home the conversation was strained and Jonathon began to wish he had trusted his judgement.
Converse consisted of general small talk with each one struggling to find something to say and then when they were within 2 miles of their destination a Muntjac Deer leapt out from the forest and straight across the road in front of the car.
Jonathon reacted quickly and swerved to avoid the deer but in doing so two wheels mounted the soft verge and he lost control and the car came to rest in a ditch.
After he had got his wits back he checked on his passenger who was on the side of the car that bore the brunt of the impact.
“Are you ok?” he asked
“Yes, yes, I’m fine” she replied “I just banged my head a bit”
He gave her head a cursory check but could see no blood,
So happy that she was not injured he tried to drive out of the ditch but it was to no avail and he resigned himself to the fact they would have to walk the last mile and a half or so.
The car was lying at a 45 degree angle with two wheels in the ditch so with some difficulty he got out of the car.
Once he was out he held the door open with his body and offered his hand to Gemma.
She took his hand and he pulled her slowly out of the car.
Once outside the vehicle they still needed to get up to the road which was about ten yards away up a gently sloping grass bank.
The problem was the grass was wet under foot and neither of the were dressed appropriately for climbing out of ditches so as they climbed gingerly up the bank they took it in turns to fall over on the muddy grass.
Time and time again they had to help each other up until Jonathon finally got one foot on firmer ground.
But before Gemma could do likewise she stumbled and as Jonathon tried to catch her they both fell to the floor and as they sat on the wet grass laughing like children Gemma took her chance and kissed him.
And unlike her previous attempts during her adolescence she met with no resistance.
“I’ve wanted to do that since I was 12” Gemma said when she came up for air and laughed before kissing him again
“Was that worth waiting 12 years for?”
“Oh God yes” she replied
“Even if you’d fancied me back when I was 12 it wouldn’t have been a kiss like that” she said and licked her lips “Not when we were only kids”
“I never said I didn’t fancy you” he pointed out
“Then why did you react the way you did when I tried to kiss you?” she asked but before he had chance to respond she added
“And that last time when you found me in your bedroom?”
“In my bed” he corrected her
“Alright in your bed” she conceded
“Naked in my bed” He corrected her again
“Half naked” she snapped “I had pants on and a bra”
“Why a bra? You were flat chested when you were 14” he asked
“Ok I admit it, the bra was purely cosmetic” she said “But why?”
“You were like my kid sister” he said
“What do you mean?” she asked
So he told her the whole story, all about the feelings he had for her, how he thought she was cute and why he acted as he did.
And after digesting all of what he had told her she said
“So let me get this right, it wasn’t that you didn’t fancy me when you so cruelly rejected my advances, it was because you thought of me as a sister?”
“Yes” he replied
There was a prolonged silence then she spoke
“And now?”
“Not so much” Jonathon mused
“Which part?”
“The sister part”
“Oh” she responded and he kissed her.
“So what do we do now?” she asked
“Well I think we should get up off the wet grass and go home and discuss it some more” he replied
“Will that involve kissing?” Gemma asked
“Undoubtedly” he replied as he got to his feet and offered her his hand
“Then I heartily concur” Gemma responded and took his hand.

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