Monday 9 January 2017

What’s A Phlebotomist?

Her real name was Hayley Harriet Hanson but that was before she married William Quimby.
After her marriage ended though she remained Harriet Quimby as she liked the name.
Her ex-husband on the other hand remained a complete bastard.
She was a phlebotomist and proud of it but she was really tired of people saying “What’s a phlebotomist?”
And then having to explain her occupation to them, so now when they asked she just said she was a nurse, it was just simpler that way.
Which was a shame because she loved her job, and she really was proud to be a phlebotomist, she liked dealing with people and liked engaging with them.
Some of her colleagues favoured the stand offish approach, keeping a dignified distance between themselves and the patients, but that was not Harriet’s way.
Harriet found the pleasant exchanges helped the day pass by, she couldn’t do it with everyone of course, some patients thought they were customers and that she was on a par with a shop girl, but they were few and far between.

Nathan Robinson was wearing a brown leather jacket and tan needle cords as he sat in the health centre waiting room amongst the sick and the lame although he was neither.
He was 35 years old and never married, although he’d come close a couple of times, he was medium height, slim build and had thinning sandy hair and grey eyes.
He was however very nervous as he was waiting there for a blood test, not that he was squeamish where blood was concerned but he hated needles.

“Mr Robinson” called a willowy young woman with bobbed dark brown hair, wearing a white uniform with red piping.
He stood up and followed her into a small clinical room.
“Good morning nurse” he said
“Hello Mr Robinson, but I’m not a nurse”
“Hello doctor?”
“No I’m not a doctor either”
“You’re not the cleaner are you?” he asked
“No” she said laughing
“A vampire then?” he asked
“Don’t worry I’m not going to drain you” she reassured him “You look too pasty already”
“Really, I thought I was palely interesting” he offered in a hurt voice
He looked at her hand, she wasn’t wearing a wedding ring or any other significant rings for that matter, but what he was focusing on was that her ring less hand was holding a needle and he swallowed hard.
“You’re afraid of needles” she said
“I wouldn’t say I was afraid” he responded defensively
“What would you say then?” She asked
“I am merely wary of them” he insisted.
“Chicken” she said unsympathetically
“Harsh” he responded still focusing on the needle
“Now if you don’t sit still I’ll have to take it from your jugular” she said menacingly
“So you are a vampire” Nathan said
She ignored him and drew the first sample
“So what’s the blood test for?” She asked
“Are you allowed to ask me that?” he asked
“No” she replied “so what’s it for?”
“I have an infection”
“Urgh” she exclaimed feigning horror
“Not that kind of infection” he assured her
“Do I need to double glove?” she asked
“No it’s alright I don’t really have an infection” Nathan said
“Good” she said and drew another sample
“It’s just part of a general medical” he said
“Oh” she said

After he’d left the room she chuckled to herself as she remembered their exchange and she thought he was a very pleasant man.
It was just over a week later when she saw him again.
Nathan was on his way to meet friends in Abbeyvale, and took a short cut through St Candida’s park as it was a nice day and he saw a small group of young women sitting on the grass and he recognised one of them.
“Hello nurse Nosferatu” he called and made the sign of the cross when she turned around
“Oh hello chicken” she responded and made it sound like a term of endearment which wasn’t her intent but was not unhappy about it.
“Should a phlebotomist be out in the sunlight?” Nathan asked
“What’s a phlebotomist?” one of the group asked and Harriet shook her head and took it as her sign to leave.
She said her goodbyes and quickly caught up with Nathan who had gone ahead.
“Thanks for that” she said
“For what?” he asked
“For exposing me as a phlebotomist” she said
“Ay?” he exclaimed in confusion
“But you are a phlebotomist”
“I know” she said “but I hate the fact that I always have to explain it”
“Sorry” Nathan said
“So what was your medical for?” she said
“Blimey you’re even nosey when you’re off duty” Nathan responded
“Yes” Harriet replied “So what’s it for?”
“Oh I’m starting a new job next month so I decided I would get a full MOT before I started” he said
“And what do you do?” she asked
“I’m a University Professor” he said proudly
“A professor?” Harriet replied a little impressed
“Aren’t you a little young?”
“Not in my field” he replied
“I thought professors were intelligent” she said
“And I thought nursing was the caring profession” he retorted
“So what are you the professor of?” she enquired
“Music” Nathan replied
“Really, what kind?” she asked impressed
“My field of expertise is early 20th century” he replied
“Like Puccini?” She said hopefully
“Like jazz” Nathan said
“Jazz? How disappointing, you got interesting for a second and then wham dull as ditch water again”
“I like jazz” he said defensively “Jazz is very exciting”
“And people study that at university?” she asked derisively
“Of course, as part of a rounded curriculum” he replied
“Do you play or just teach?” she asked
“Yes” Nathan replied
“What instrument? The washboard?” She asked and laughed out loud with delight
“That’s skiffle, not jazz” he corrected her “Philistine”
“What then?” Harriet persisted
“Clarinet” Said Nathan
“Really? But that’s a proper instrument” she said shocked “Are you any good?”
“Well I enjoy playing” he answered
“You’re really bad then” Harriet said and laughed
“Why not come and judge for yourself” he said
“When?” she asked
“Now” he replied “we’re playing a set at the Jazz Shack on Finchampton Street”
“Ok” she answered

After the gig, if you could call it that, they only played two numbers, he joined her at her table.
“You were very good” she said “better than you led me to believe”
“Well thank you maam” he said in a false American accent
“But I still don’t like jazz” she said shooting him down

When it was time to go he said
“Perhaps we can do it again”
“Oh I don’t know about that” Harriet said
“Why not? I thought we had spent a very pleasant afternoon together” he stated
“We have absolutely nothing in common” Harriet retorted
“We share a sense of humour” he said
“That doesn’t count” she responded
“I think a good sense of humour is essential in a relationship if there is a prospect of someone seeing me naked” Nathan replied
“That’s not much of a prospect” Harriet said
“Come on Harriet” he said “what harm could it do”
Harriet was quiet for a moment then she said
“Ok I will come with you to the Jazz Shack to hear you play again, on one condition”
“Name it” he said with enthusiasm
“You have to come to the opera with me”
He went to speak but she silenced him with a look
“And I don’t mean Gilbert and Sullivan either”
“Puccini’s Madame Butterfly, one of the greatest pieces of early 20th century music ever written” she said with authority
“It’s a date” he said
“Yes I suppose it is" she said almost to herself

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